Waiting, hoping...

I applied to this amazing opportunity and am waiting for a yes/no.

It requires many steps and after advancing through two I was getting a little hopeful but now that I haven't heard anything in a while it's sending me back through waves of desperate hopefulness and overwhelming hopelessness...

I know that sounds really dramatic. I just want to make the people who helped me get to where I am proud, you know? So many friends and mentors ask how it's going or what I've applied to and they're genuinely interested. When I get that first gig I have a lot of phone calls and emails to send.

I guess it's just that I have been out of school for a couple of months and the job search has been a little bleak. I have a laundry list of reasons why I want to go out and work - but I also want to show that all the effort and time people gave me wasn't wasted. 

So while I'm waiting for this decision, I'm trying to keep my mind occupied. I edited and delivered a few photos to someone I photographed last year, finally looked at my sister's graduation stuff, and am slowly working through any other work I've been avoiding. 

Coming home to a full schedule

The last six or seven weeks have been pretty busy and not very productive on the job search front. I went through the entire test and interview process for a position at Los Angeles City College, took a video seminar, flew to Pittsburgh, flew to Phoenix, and tomorrow I'll be coming back from eight or nine days in Hawaii.

All of these places sound like vacation - some of it was I guess... I got to unplug my brain for a while - but I had a purpose for each event. 

Now that we're headed home, my sister Sophie and I will tackle fitting three people in a two-person home that already has enough stuff for five. I'm hoping all this productive energy will transfer into photographic projects. 

I'm going to PhotoCon LA next weekend and I'm hoping to be inspired from some of the photographers' speeches and advice. 

My "full schedule" when I'm home is applying to jobs and internships, preparing for the future, and bettering myself. All the "adult" things. I want to start from square one and make sure that whenever I do start my first steps I'm starting off on the right foot. 

All the work and practice I'm doing or could be doing is not going to do me any good if I'm going to trip out of the gate.

Interviews

In my job search I've only had a handful of interviews. As in... I don't have to use all five fingers...

BUT: I have the most exciting interview in about an hour. I have never been this close to such a great opportunity. I almost feel like it fell out of the sky.

No matter what the outcome is I am just impressed with myself (can I say that?) because I was considered for a second. I said something in my application that caught their attention. And I genuinely feel that way. Of course I would be very sad if I don't get this position - who wouldn't be, it's amazing - but life will go on. 

I truly feel that I want to dedicate my life to making the world a better place. Adding to the public knowledge, showing realities that others can't see, enlightening: these are the only way I know how at the moment and I can't wait to start that it actually hurts my heart sometimes. 

I don't want to jinx the opportunity so I won't say what it is until the decisions are sent out in a few weeks but if there is anyone out there who follows my occasional updates, I'll keep you posted.

On the occasional update note - I apologize for the lack of photo updates, this last year I took more of an editorial and directorial role in my activities so my shooting time went from overdrive to... not overdrive or news related. I did gain invaluable experience that may not be shown in my own work but adds to my knowledge of photography and journalism, and I can see my mentoring in the work of my staff and other students. Realizing that sharing my knowledge to help my peers become better photojournalists is something that I did not recognize at the time but can see in their work now. And I think that's kind of cool.